Crush, Crush, Crush
by DarkElements10
Summary: Kendall thinks about how things turned out with Jo, Lucy, and Riley. Pre-relationship Kiley, set during season 3 between Big Time Decision and Big Time Camping.


**Crush, Crush, Crush  
**

**By: Riley**

**Summary - Kendall thinks about how things turned out with Jo, Lucy, and Riley. Pre-relationship Kiley, set during season 3 between Big Time Decision and Big Time Camping.  
**

* * *

When looking through the dictionary, there are three definitions to the word, crush. Firstly, crush; meaning to break, pound, or injure. Secondly, to emotionally oppress or dishearten.

And thirdly, most importantly; an intense infatuation.

Kendall was very familiar with the first two definitions of the word. Being a hockey player, he was very quick to take on the hard knocks that the sport had to offer, and was the cause of them a few times. He threw his opponents into the boards with as much force as he could, hoping to knock them back so that he was able to steal the puck and charge the net. He'd broken an opponents' arm here and there, had injured their ribs and given them bruises more times than he could count.

And there was that time he ended up in the hospital on his sixteenth birthday because of a broken leg after playing a super intense game of hockey that…he honestly shouldn't have been playing. His mother reminded him of that enough.

But that was the physical 'crushing' he'd managed to do. The emotional ones were much worse. The first time he'd crushed someone had been Jo. When he broke her heart after he tried to force her to break up with him before she went to New Zealand. It was a good idea at the time…but even he couldn't ignore the pain it inflicted upon him as well, seeing the heartbreak that came over her face, even though the breakup needed to happen.

The second time he'd crushed someone had been Lucy Stone, whom he'd gone on half a date with and then promptly broke up with because of Jo's return. He practically lead her on, made her think something was going to happen between them; the chemistry was there but…things didn't work out. And he didn't stop her when she said she'd leave the Palm Woods.

But the third crush, the intense infatuation, was what stuck with him the most. Girls were always easy for him; they'd been interested him in as he grew up. And while hockey had always been his first love, he had an interest in them as well. It was no surprise to anyone when he started dating Kayslee back in Minnesota, one of the most popular girls in school as he was one of the most popular guys.

It didn't surprise anyone when Jo ended up falling for his charm as much as she tried to focus on her career at the beginning of her stay in the Palm Woods. It didn't surprise anyone when he captured Lucy's attention–though James tried his hardest to keep that from happening.

But what surprised him, caught him off guard, slammed him into the boards so hard he saw stars was how much he'd grown to care for Riley. Their introduction had been stilted, she was hired along with her siblings to help him and the rest of his best friends to form Big Time Rush and navigate through LA and the music industry. They'd fought a little, at first, over something so stupid, he remembered with a cringe whenever someone brought it up now. (She was trying to dress the boys for a promotional shoot and wanted him to wear certain shoes while he refused to wear anything but Vans, not wanting to pretend to be something he wasn't).

She'd treated him coldly and like a nuisance, working to keep him and his eternal friendliness away from her…which he only found later to be because she worked to keep him from figuring out how she and her siblings were being abused by their foster father. Nevertheless, they broke though it and quickly found themselves having enough in common that their friendship quickly grew into being best friends.

Kendall wasn't quite sure when it happened, but at some point he grew feelings for her that he ignored the best he could–while dating Jo at the time. But he couldn't hide it, others could see it, a breakup happened, he worked to let Riley know, and found her disinterest to push him toward Lucy. The decision that ultimately soured their friendship to a screaming match of what their friendship was when Riley blew up at him.

She'd told him the truth, he admitted his feelings, they were on the right track….then nothing.

Nothing so much as continuing to be a best friend. A best friend who sat beside Riley in his room as they worked to finish some homework, though became distracted while watching as Riley continued to fuss with her hair. Something he wouldn't have noticed too much before, had he not suddenly notice everything about her. The way she smiled at him that he was sure was different from the way she smiled at others, how they sat closer, how his skin burned when they touched, how they held hands more often, how much he wondered how long it'd be before he had enough 'time to himself' and they could start dating for real.

Riley lifted her blue eyes and locked on his. Her eyebrows twitched up in silent question. The side of her mouth twitching into that smirk-smile that was the very first thing he noticed about her, and subsequently looked for.

He jumped, realizing he'd been staring for…for however long he'd had been. His gaze shifted. Blurted out the first thing he thought of. "I can braid your hair, if you want me to," Kendall offered.

Riley looked at him with a raised eyebrow. A corner of her mouth turned up in amusement. "You want to help me with my hair?" She asked. Kendall shrugged and nodded. "Even after what we did to your mum's bathroom when you tried to help me dye it?"

Kendall blinked rapidly, briefly glancing toward the ceiling. "Well, mom calmed down when we finally got the red dye off the ceiling, the walls, and her favorite towels."

Riley snorted. "You can't even do a ponytail for Katie." As if to prove her point, she pulled her hair over her shoulder and started to quickly and easily braid the three large strands she separated her hair into. "What makes you think I'd let you come near it?"

He knew she wasn't so vain that it'd mattered much. Was only winding him up, teasing him in the way she seemed to effortlessly do and find increasing entertainment of. And it wasn't that he even wanted to do it. He didn't have any interest in braiding her hair. The words just slipped out in his desperate attempt to be close to her, _closer _to her in a way he wished he could but couldn't act upon in case everything fell apart. In case she didn't feel the same. In case they couldn't come back from it.

"Well, if it'd get you to stop complaining and focus!" Kendall slapped his textbook as if to prove his point. Pushed the yearning thought away to act stern as he said, "We've got work to do!"

"Fine. Fine." Riley finished braiding and dropped her hands to her lap, focusing her attention on her book, dipping her head low over it.

Silence stretched between them.

Kendall lifted his head and looked up and watched Riley as she studied. Watched as her hair slowly worked its way out of her braid and draped over her shoulder, of which she quickly and casually batted away.

He pressed his lips together, working hard to ignore the painful bloom in his chest of another moment that was perfect for him to steer the conversation towards the topic he'd been thinking about more as the days went on.

What if…they gave it a shot?

Crush, crush, crush.

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**THE END**


End file.
